"I was promised a cheerleader. A sexy, horny, 18 year old cheerleader -- one with big boobs. Every day, since I was four years old, they told me I'd get one. Every beer commercial, billboard, movie, all my porn mags -- they all said it. A cheerleader, just for me, to have for my own.

"So what the hell happened? I never got one! Must be some kind of mistake. Goddamn it, it's my right as an American citizen. My right as a man. I get a fricken' cheerleader.

"You didn't give me one. So, instead, I went out, and I took one. That's fair -- right?"

www.nikart.ca
Tuesday, August 19th, 2003.